When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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