i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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