Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
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