Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
