My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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