:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
