he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
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