Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
