the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
