Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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