i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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