He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
