i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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