all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
