I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
