you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
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