What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
