When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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