4 words: hood of his car
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
