legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
