i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
