I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
the liver wants what the liver wants
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
