But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
