Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
