Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
