Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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