I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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