if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
