Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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