He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
