If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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