Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
