idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
