called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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