Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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