I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
