if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
