this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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