marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Randomize
