if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
