just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
