I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
