yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
