Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
