you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize