Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
