I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
