I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
