He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
