no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
