Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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