ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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