Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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