I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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