you would pick up someone in the library
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
