A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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