Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
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