Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
