Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
